Of Stable and Sound Mind
by UNCPanda
Summary: A rewrite to the end of the episode "Hey Look Me Over." What happens when Hawkeye, doesn't make a grand gesture in a tuxedo and deals with things in a different manner.


**Of Stable and Sound Mind**

Hawkeye could admit when he was wrong. He didn't like to admit it, but when he did, it was usually because he had screwed up. And with Kellye he had done just that. She was everything she had said she was, and because he was always looking for the next leggy blonde he had passed right by her.

So, here he was, lying on his cot, in his mess of a tent, that he shared with a lovely family of cockroaches, and his two tent mates. He'd considered going to Kellye's tent; putting on his best tuxedo, bringing her flowers and asking her out. He'd almost done it too. Except, the more he thought about it the more he realized that it was an empty gesture, and an attempt to make up with a friend. It wasn't a serious proposal.

So he'd nixed the idea, and resigned himself to a night in his tent. He'd even passed on BJ's offer of the officer's club. And so, here he was, moping. He'd tried reading, and when that had failed he'd decided to move Winchester's cot to the minefield, or he would have if a jeep carrying a wounded soldier hadn't pulled in.

He hadn't even hesitated, his job having become so ingrained in his body, that he moved without thinking. It was a belly wound, filled with shrapnel. It was ugly and messy, just like everything else in the damn war. Almost immediately there were two orderlies to move the man into pre-op and a nurse to help put pressure on the wound.

He didn't even realize who it was until the patient was safely in pre-op and she had joined him for scrubbing. Kellye Yamato stood there scrubbing next to him, dressed nicely in her class A's, that were now covered in blood. He couldn't help but wonder why she was wearing them. He would have asked too, if he hadn't thought it would get him a lecture, and a glare. Keeping his mouth shut he focused on scrubbing, before making his way into the operating room.

The operating room was nearly silent, with the exception of the occasional squish of organs, or request of medical instruments. No other doctors or nurses had been called with the exception of the anesthesiologist. Everyone else was in the officer's club enjoying themselves to their hearts' content. A rare oddity in their daily lives.

They continued on in mostly silence, until the job was done. Hawkeye watched as the orderlies took the patient into post-op. He'd have to watch the boy carefully, he still had a slight fever, and there was always the chance of infection. Sighing he left the operating room and sat down in the scrub room.

Taking a moment, he looked at himself, he was covered in blood, like always, he was exhausted, like always, and he felt much older than he should have. It was almost as though he'd been in this war for eleven years instead of three.

Feeling the rush of oncoming nausea, he put his head between his legs. He stayed that way even after the moment had passed. In fact, he stayed that way until a hand settled on his back and began rubbing soothing circles. He didn't bother looking up, he knew who it was, and it just further proved that she was too good for him.

After a few minutes he sat up. After another minute he turned to face her. She was looking at him with kind eyes, and a small smile that said she understood. She understood the toll the death, the blood, the amputations, and the disease took. She understood what it meant to watch young faces with so much to live for enter the operating room and leave with no future. She understood and dealt with it; only she did it with a smile on her face and genuine caring in her heart.

Resting his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands he studied her for a moment. Her hand was still rubbing his back, and she didn't flinch or look away from his stare. She didn't try to reassure him, or tell him that it would all be okay. She simply sat there, offering the small comfort of warm human contact, while he dealt with his emotions and feelings to the best of his ability.

Finally, he broke his silence "I never meant to hurt you Kellye."

She gave him that sweet smile "I know Hawkeye."

"You're everything you said you were, and more."

"I know that too."

At that statement he couldn't help but laugh. "Let me take you out Kellye."

The smile never left her face "I'm sorry Hawkeye, but no." He could feel his heart sink, "At least not until you're sure it's something you really want. I'm no one's pity date Hawkeye. I want someone who truly wants me. I don't want someone who feels they have to ask me out. I don't deserve anything less."

Smiling Hawkeye stood up, "I don't see how anyone could ever not want you Kellye Yamato. We're good?"

"We're great, Hawkeye."

Still smiling Hawkeye wandered out of the operating building and towards the showers, already contemplating his plan to ask Kellye out within the next week. A week was more than enough time to prove he was of stable and sound mind, and more than excited to dater her, right?


End file.
